January 11, 2012 at 10:49 pm • Posted in UncategorizedNo comments yet

I have to admit that I really hate uncertainty. I like certainty, a plan and control. I am also a fairly decisive person with an A-type personality. I tend not to be patient and uncertainty requires patience.

Recently I have been dealing with some medical stuff that we still can quite seem to figure out. I had thought it was clear and hoped for a clear answer and a quick response, but that has not been the case. As I go, I am learning, but the learning is not always enjoyable. It causes me to think about God’s sense of time and working in the world and how small it must all seem to Him even though He cares so deeply when it seems so significant to us.

We all like answers and to have things up in the air is a challenge, but there is a beauty and mystery to waiting that can help us focus on God even if we are not patient. I hope to find answers to my medical issues soon, and I hope that they are simple. Life is much more difficult when you do not feel well and we all desire to be ourselves and not a less productive, less happy, less engaging version of ourselves. That’s how it is for me right now and I hope it ends soon. In the meantime, I really just want to find a way to live life as it is and seek to find God’s work around me and look for God’s redemption around every corner.