Politics 2

October 13, 2012 at 4:29 pm • Posted in UncategorizedNo comments yet

Here is the next set of ridiculous political posts, you can view the first set on this blog as well or on my Facebook page.

 

Ridiculous Political Post #8

The media is clearly biased when it comes to politics. No matter what they say about themselves, their bias is undeniable. In this political season it is terrible that they would not allow an important issue to come up. In this media conspiracy the candidates themselves have joined with the media in their refusal to deal with an important issue: daylight savings time. Daylight Savings Time is destroying our country; its dramatic effect on our health, our economy and our general sanity is something that must be addressed. While it may feel nice to ‘gain’ an hour of sleep once a year, the havoc that this change of clock creates as time in manipulated and sleep is lost is un-American.

 

Ridiculous Political Post #9

We have a math problem in this country and the candidates are both weak on this issue. They try to appease this issue by constantly talking about percentages, the 1%, the 99%, the 47%. Where do they get this stuff? Don’t they know that 90% of statics are made up or that -2% of Americans care about percentages. Stop the madness! No wonder we are behind China.

 

Ridiculous Political Post #10

One of the greatest theological truths of our time can be found on many t-shirts and bumper stickers. In fact, most good theology and understanding of the world and God comes from t-shirts and bumper stickers. One truth that can be applied to this election is this: ‘he who has the most toys wins.’ Shouldn’t our political system and election process be simplified? How about this, ‘he with the post political signs wins.’ Who is with me?!

 

Ridiculous Political Post #11

Immigration is clearly an issue in our country. Immigration creates strain on the economy, housing, public services and public safety. Here in Colorado for example we have a very big problem with Texan immigration. It creates havoc on our roads, in our parks and generally disturbs the peace that we Coloradans are entitled to! Which candidate will have the courage to address this issue?

 

Ridiculous Political Post #12

There is a lot of talk about religion in this election, which is unfortunate because it means that other things are not addressed. Unfortunately much of the talk about religion is a misrepresentation of various faiths and is rooted in fear and hate. No religion at its core is rooted in fear and hate. I am not an expert on the various sects within a religion and I cannot say which is more dangerous, the Muslim Jihad, the Christian Fundamentalist Jihad, The Mormon Jihad, The Hindu Jihad, The Jewish Jihad, The Buddhist Jihad, and so on. I don’t know which Jihad is which anymore! I think the more healthy solution would be to make sure that all candidates for presidents would sign a pledge to not have a religion at all. That way we can all hate together and all be offended. That way we can take religion out of everything and everyone. Surely that will make our country better.

 

Ridiculous Political Post #13

All this talk about Sesame Street has me confused. I don’t know what Romney or Obama have to do with Big Bird, but I can tell you this is very confusing to me. I grew up on ‘the street,’ Sesame Street that is and if Big Bird has anything to do with politics that we need to scrap this whole election and make the Swedish Chef president. Who cares if he was not born in the US, can’t we make an exception?

 

Ridiculous Political Post #14

Nobody seems to care about who is vice-president and they don’t seem to matter much. I am not even sure we have ever really had a good one. I think there is a better way. Instead of candidates picking their vice presidents before the election, I think that vice-presidents should be selected by a random lottery drawing the day after the election.

Politics

October 3, 2012 at 3:15 pm • Posted in UncategorizedNo comments yet

Its been an ugly political season. After saying that I would not post political stuff on Facebook, I decided to abandon that pledge to do a 40 day count down with ridiculous political posts. Here is the first week of posts:

 

In honor of the remaining 40 days until the election (I heard it was 40 days yesterday) I have decided to abandon my pledge not to make political posts. Instead, these next 40 days (you get two posts today) I will post some sort of ridiculous, hopefully entertaining, thoughtful or possibly offensive bipartisan post about the election, candidates or political system in general. Since we are in the 40 days much like the dessert, it seems fitting to enjoy some levity.

After spending 8 years in one party and leaving due to extremists who were warping faith and using religion in unhealthy ways, I have now left another who have stopped thinking and lost sight of the value of faith and religion. All or nothing is part of the problem. So as one of those independents (the kind who thinks) I am hoping for a true, non extreme, third party. It must be rational (sorry tea party), cannot be stuck (sorry republicans and democrats), must not be a single issue party (sorry Jessica Carlson and the Green Party) and must not be ridiculous (sorry Brandon Shirkey and the pirate party. Now, commence the 40 political posts.

 

Ridiculous Political Post #1: One of the things I am going to miss after the election is over are the commercials on TV and Radio. They are so enjoyable, meaningful and filled with truthful information that I wish there were more. There are just not enough of them and it hinders my ability to think about our country. I find myself wanting to watch live TV more (instead of DVR) and listen to the radio more instead of my iTunes. The problem is that they have not helped me who to decide to vote for. Mitt’s commercials are very gentle and comforting and he wears jeans which is super cool, but a lot of times his hair is messed up and that bothers me, I don’t like hair that is messy. Then Obama’s commercials are so hip and motivating. I like them too. The problem is on his radio commercials he says ‘I am Barack Obama, candidate for president’ and that confuses me, because it seems like he is forgetting he is president right now. Needless to say I love them, and they have taught me more than my entire education, but I just cannot figure out who to vote for from these commercials.

 

Ridiculous Political Post #2:

I wonder if it would be easier to know who to vote for in the presidential election if their names were different. For example, if Mitt Romeny’s name was really Mittens McGee Romney III, I would vote for him no matter what. If Barack Obama’s name was actually Barack O. Pumpkin Obama, I would most certainly vote for him. Its too bad they did not have better names…I mean they could be more boring, but they are not as fun as they should be.

 

Ridiculous Political Post #3:

Its sad to see how few people actually vote, especially if you consider the number of people that are registered to vote. In any election, if we were to give a percentage grade, it would always be a failing grade. I have been thinking about what could be done to get people to vote. I thought of the Red Cross. When you donate blood, you get a cookie. I also thought about my sons school. On the day that they have to count students for state aid, they give them a sticker and pencil and let them wear pajamas to school. What if we gave everyone who voted a sticker (a cool one, not the I voted one-maybe a scratch and sniff sticker?), a pencil, a cookie and let them vote in their pj’s? Of course there are issues and challenges: there are food allergies and of course expense. We would probably have to cut some unimportant things out of the budget so we could give out cookies; things like medicare, veteran benefits, education, the military–those unimportant things that candidates keep talking about cutting. I just wonder if cookies are partisan or bipartisan. I guess Republican cookies would be like oatmeal raisin cookies–traditional and boring. Democratic cookies would be like macadamia nut cookies, nutty and expensive. Maybe we should just stick with brownies, but not the kind you can get in Colorado at those special ‘medical’ stores.

 

Ridiculous Political Post #4

There are many great issues facing our country and our world, but there is a national crisis that is getting little to no attention from our presidential candidates. Its unfortunate, because I think we need some answers. This year we are facing a bacon shortage. I cannot think of another more significant national crisis (outside perhaps of 9/11) than this one. I wish our candidates for president would step up and address this issue. I don’t want to hear that the shortage of bacon is the fault of Republicans in congress or that the president is to blame. I just want to ensure that every american has the opportunity to enjoy bacon. Let us rise up and demand answers, because a world without bacon is not the kind of world I want to live in.

Editors Note: I am serious about the bacon–the thought of a bacon shortage is mortifying

 

 

Ridiculous Political Post #5:

While I find single issue voting to be very dangerous, there is one issue that may be worthy of single issue voting. Measurement. I mean seriously, we are the only country that is not on metric. Ironically we call it standard which is confusing and perhaps arrogant. I think we should elect a president who will commit to addressing this very critical issue and will lead us into a great future as we join the rest of the world and embrace metric. It is clearly more logical and may even stimulate the economy. So let’s not worry about all these other issues that get our vote, lets worry about one that COUNTS: metric!

 

Ridiculous Political Post #6

It seems that the economy is getting a lot of attention in the campaign. There is something that is not getting any attention, and its directly related to the economy. Its an issue worth wrestling with as a nation. This issue: the penny. Do you know it costs more than twice as much to make the penny as its worth. Do you know that if you throw pennies out or hoard them, taking them out of circulation that you are in the end costing yourself more than twice as much? Which candidate is going to stand up against this important issue and pledge to rid us of the penny? Sure, it will be an adjustment rounding things up to the nearest 5 cents. We will have to change taxes, prices on items, and all sorts of formulas, but it will be worth it. Think of our children after all! Do we want to saddle them with who knows how much penny debt? I would suggest as we transition to life without the penny that we go ahead and donate the difference of rounding up to the federal debt in the meantime?

 

Ridiculous Political Post #7:

There has been a lot of talk about culture wars and values around this election. Much of this is around the issue of gay marriage. While I am not commenting on that, I think it is critical to comment on an issue that may already be destroying our culture. Its something we need to rid ourselves of, otherwise our children may continue to be ruined. No candidate has taken a stand on it, which makes me believe that they are both ok with this. The issue at hand: glitter. There is nothing more destructive to our moral fiber, our personal property and even our own physical health than glitter. It is causing a generation of messy people and is probably a Chinese conspiracy to take over our country. Lets unite as a nation and wage a real culture ware—against glitter!