Worn

January 25, 2012 at 9:18 pm • Posted in UncategorizedNo comments yet

Whether it is schedule, illness, lack of sleep, stress, something else or a combination of factors, the best word to describe life right now is worn. I am just a little worn out and I do not quite feel myself. It is certainly frustrating to feel this way because I do not like to feel or be off. The next 11 days are pretty full and crazy for me, so I am not sure what to expect. This notion of feeling worn has caused me to reflect on several things. The reality is that I cannot always be ‘on’ or at my best. Most people seem to understand and expect that, but I fail to give myself grace in this area. Once I get through the super bowl, I am looking forward to having some time to rest and catch my breath. I think I will take several sick days to recuperate from being worn out. Then it will be off to California for a week for my class. I am very much looking forward to that time away!

Full

January 18, 2012 at 2:32 pm • Posted in UncategorizedNo comments yet

I am almost always thankful for the full life that I lead. I am excited about the choices I have made and the things that God has called me to. I love living a full life, a life that is truly abundant. I don’t think its good to have a full just for the sake of it, but I believe that we are meant to make the most of who we are and to serve God as best we can. It is important to always evaluate the things that we will our life up with and make sure that not only are they the right things, but that the things that matter the most truly are made a priority.

Uncertainty

January 11, 2012 at 10:49 pm • Posted in UncategorizedNo comments yet

I have to admit that I really hate uncertainty. I like certainty, a plan and control. I am also a fairly decisive person with an A-type personality. I tend not to be patient and uncertainty requires patience.

Recently I have been dealing with some medical stuff that we still can quite seem to figure out. I had thought it was clear and hoped for a clear answer and a quick response, but that has not been the case. As I go, I am learning, but the learning is not always enjoyable. It causes me to think about God’s sense of time and working in the world and how small it must all seem to Him even though He cares so deeply when it seems so significant to us.

We all like answers and to have things up in the air is a challenge, but there is a beauty and mystery to waiting that can help us focus on God even if we are not patient. I hope to find answers to my medical issues soon, and I hope that they are simple. Life is much more difficult when you do not feel well and we all desire to be ourselves and not a less productive, less happy, less engaging version of ourselves. That’s how it is for me right now and I hope it ends soon. In the meantime, I really just want to find a way to live life as it is and seek to find God’s work around me and look for God’s redemption around every corner.